And m*leskine, I've just about had it with you and your silly new copyright laws. I don't have time to get expressed permission every time I want to make a vlog. Sorry for promoting your product!

ANYWAY, searching for a m*leskine alternative is an uphill battle and an oxymoron; despite my frusteration with the new copyright laws and the use of carcinogens in the covers and the switch of manufacturing to China and blahblahblah, there's an organic-tactility and understated effect of m*leskine notebooks that I don't expect will ever be matched. No matter how many attempts a product makes, with all the rounded corners-ribbon bookmark-elastic bland enclosure-back pocket yadayada, it's just not the same.

So, I decided, the ideal m*leskine alternative will not really be an alternative, but something which stands on its own and is still versatile enough to be considered a baseline notebook for all of my journaling needs. I found that this was met by the line of ecosystem notebooks:

I have scoffed at their marketing approach in the past; I am no environmentalist, and generally not fond of the earthy, archaic look of most recycled journals, but these ecosystem animals look and act like toys. They're completely recycled and made in the USA, and priced well at that. All pages are preforated, which typically makes me cringe because I'm so archival, but these preforations only act when you need them. I'm still on my first model, a lined hardcover because no one makes a true soft cover like m*leskine, but so far I truly love it. So go out and pick up one of these eco-friendly beauties. 

Anyway I just moved and my lungs are still recovering from dust so I'll go now. You'll hear from me soon!

Limp, really?

Yeah. 

--close character interview--

I have to say first that I have been getting an astonishing amount of positive feedback between my contact form and my youtube channel of late. Seems like yall loved my little film. Thank you so much for contacting me; I'll need a secretary any day now with all the emails I've been getting. 

I promise I read them all and I promise I will get back to a lot of you SOON. I am in one of those finals-weeks and I'm moving AGAIN. =.=

Being young. pah. You can't say anything moral without having everyone argue with you and there's no steady income and you've got to move all the time. I think being young is a little overrated. 

Anyway I've got allergies again and a virus again so I have to crash. Now. The last two years have been disastrous but things will turn on their head soon and you'll be hearing a lot more from me! Thanks again for all the incredible support. It still fascinates me that I can inspire people I've never met. 

Writing prompt: boy thinks that scorpions attack him every night. Go. 

I'm tired, too, especially with the allergy meds or allergies or both, and having to sit through films to study film. I can't just SIT for that long, you must be crazy. I love my beta muse, anyway. 

I have no groceries. I'm drowsy. I'm behind in every class with a week to go.

48 hours in a motel. wanna see a show called Bates Motel. Heard what it's like to get shot but forgot what it's like to be heard and what it's like to speak. (lovelovealan)

I'll be damned if I'll find myself enrolled in a public school of any kind ever again. It cost me a muse before, but everyone forgets him. As is current. Thanks for the fries.  

So I've fallen serious behind in all aspects of life but that's only because the writing hasn't gone so well in almost a year. I am dishing out pages like pudding from a cup. :D 

Since I've getting near to the real career bit, let's talk about priorities:

I'm addressing everyone, but mainly young people because A) I am surrounded by them and B) I am one of them. So the harshness of my tone is reserved for myself and all others under 35.

First of all, stop whining about time. The great thing about time is that no one has more or less of it than anyone else! You decide what to do with your time, and you decide how much of your time you must dedicate to your survival (eating, sleeping etc). Some people have to give more time to that than others; some people need to work two jobs in order to eat and have shelter, for example. But every time you decide to use time, you are making judgement call about the importance of what you're doing.

Some, for instance, might wake up late once or twice and skip brushing their teeth so that they won't be late to class. If I wake up late, nothing about my schedule really changes because I consider my morning routine and morning writing to be more important than having an optimal reputation with a professor; but this also means that I decide to wake up much earlier than "necessary." 

If you have time to do one thing over another, you are valuing that activity more than any other alternative. If you say you have no time to write, and then use your lunch break to eat lunch, (with the understanding that you will have dinner), you are valuing eating three meals a day more than your goal to write every day. 

You might say that a lunch break is not enough time to write. That's legitimate; but when you give up something you once considered essential, something you once took for granted, you'll be surprised how quickly you learn to write something substantial in half an hour. 

Or why not just eat with one hand? I find oral stimulation helps the writing process, anyway. Just look at all the smokers. Or MINT suckers *ahem* such as yours truly. 

So I sure as hell miss throwing parties, I haven't really thrown one since early high school, yeah. But those hours are much better spent on self-reflection at my age, when I get the luxury to have it. So a REMINDER to those young people out there:

WHEN YOU'RE THIRTY AND UP, it's not CUTE anymore to change your mind about what you want to do and who you want to be. You get a very short window where people will actually SUPPORT any decision you make. Try to USE IT WISELY. Seriously. Don't realize you're a prodigy at 30, 35, 40. Realize it NOW. You'll get plenty of time later in life to try new hobbies and celebrate your life; I'm sure you're multi-talented yadayada. Youth is your chance to FOCUS. If you're lucky enough to get a decade or a few years where others will support you but you are still able to make your own decisions, that's golden. So don't get overwhelmed and crash. Just pick a thing you like; it's only one life. Calm down. Pick a thing you like and go do it, and someone will likely hire you by the time you have to support yourself entire, like. 

Thin aired mountains have oceans as fresh surface; I dreamt of flying. 

I am complete lack of inspiration these days, because I spent a few catching up for the school, which will not really exist this weekend, it's going to be all making things, so I say in the meantime...work and work more. And dear muse who has been not so supportive: first of all, calm down, and secondly, you're fine. I need to record things. grab a mic or take a hike. :D heh. rhymes. 

my friend last night made a fun of my stress. she said "i can't take it no more i got canker sores..." She's a real poet. Meanwhile I'm setting around wondering why it is that I've never learned a language per week and once I'm outta school I oughtta start. 

I have to go. Busiest week since prep school~

I spent the last three days taking footage for a short film. I've never made a short film but there's a first time for everything. So I did that and I've got to edit it, and schedule a ten hour write in this week, and I'm still full-time studenting and the like. 

Anyway I've relearned sleep again to accomodate my work needs these days. I take frequent naps and sleep very little at night. You do it often enough and you can train your body to sleep and wake exactly when you intend. I used to be perfect at it; still retraining. I take roughly three to five hours of solid sleep at night, and three to six 20 minute naps during the day. I won't need an alarm soon. It keeps me far more active; I haven't needed caffeine in days. 

People expect change by arbitrary means. A new year doesn't mean a new anything on its own. If you want your life to change radically you must be radical. But no, everyone's too afraid and whining about what they're going to lose. If you're yourself and doing what you love you can't possibly lose anything. You just get more space for more things and more people what are better for you. 

Saw The Machinist. It ought to be a graphic novel. Very vintage creepy. I was initially disappointed because it thwarted my expectations, but I have since come to realize that the purpose of the film is to convey a state of mind and it does that flawlessly, I think. I have to see it again. But it got me emoting something fierce and there wasn't a one who would cuddle me. Living where I live is strange. Living is strange. Death is stranger. 

The script from my short film is adapted from my blog posts over the last several months. I will post it here when I've finished the editing and production etc. 

No surprise that such an Alan-looking-actor is Spanish born :D I slipped alone into a farm today, just I and animals, and while the sun set colorful the moon rose enormous and they faced each other exact for a moment. 

Where are you? Can you hear me? Do you know me? Are you a memory?

Can't wait to leave the school where I'm stuck. Wrote a three page paper in half an hour, I'm always finishing things the moment before and they don't know the difference. Finally bothered my landlord enough today to get that screen in my window, already. It's only been all year. and it doesn't fit but there you go. And things besides it must be just in time for spring

is running water is running water? I'm exhausted clear. I need a non focus digital camera. everything should be in focus all the time. 

Started a new art journal for a consolidated healing plan but I've barely got time to touch it. Touching is good, though. Ideas generate with tactility.

I watch characters like Alex Kerner (mygodhowmanyalexsareinmypersonallonginglexicon) and there's a kind of soaring you can't imagine. And with the farther and longer I have Cope Syndrome the more in control this soaring is; like yes that's him, I know him, I have him, I am him. So it's only a matter of time now before one of them happens to me. He gets closer all the time, sleeves wristing. 

Warning now. a warning now. This is my calm before the storm. APRIL.

Raise your hand if you don't think that April is the busiest month of the year. Anyone?

Eight papers due and a new portfolio to put together and eight transcripts and a handful of recommendation letters, some to request and some to write, two jobs to pick up and a part of the novel to finish and a healing plan to start and thank God that April is a spring month. It's a frantic nonstop with remembering breath. 

I'm working on a very short short film about being a novelist, making a script for a third party, and then I've got like a video I want to do about journaling practices for the male gender. Also I've yet to take a formal scriptwriting course, oh the gaps the gaps the gaps free associated test tomorrow gaps glaps claps tapping black shining shoes against angle and angle and angled until someone touched him and he exhaled,

thanks for reading

I'm going to make a lot of art soon. And a new cover letter, and I ought to add credits to this website. 

I will take black and white photographs. Organize conceptualize actualize and execute. Don't forget to look for Dylan Redwine. 

I don't know like what to blog about. I mean I used to have a life. And then I went to college. There goes job career friends writing projects. 

For this time around I'll recommend Julia Cameron, as she is articulate in the extreme about the nuts and bolts of inspiration. Other than that I haven't got what to say. It's been a stressful time. And April's coming up, always the busiest month of the year.