and then...motel

Been watching BATES MOTEL. It's a precious thing. I love mother-son relationships, I find them infinitely fascinating. Too much music in that show, and it's too overstated, like.

I also got to watch 127 hours. James Mr. Franco, I blow you a kiss. The more male stories to watch, the better. Anyway it was a grand film, very relatable, at least to me. 

and I FINALLY FOUND Coppola's TV series for The Outsiders, watching that is fun. And I'm reading again, too. Just a good mental refilling period, you know. It's a great thing for you when there are a lot of new projects on the horizon. Refilling the well, like. 

And the writing exercises. I've gone off doing those, trying to fix our mental scars. Beta muse cries through the night and through another night. "Oh it's so awful, owowouch," he says, and I say like "what's so awful Alan?" and he holds his own head and says "it is!" So there, I've started an equine healing program. Inspiration is a warm arm slung across the bed. 

Once I start planning my Loft manifesto, the piece about my psychological construct, my blog entries will have updates and explanations. Stay tuned for that, it is the raw side of the writing process.

Listen to The Presets and draw lines. Transform vintage-edge to angles-contemporary.

I start my copy-writing career this summer. Here is a great link for you creative professionals out there: http://www.bce-online.com/en/

and then...wet

summer is wet. I just moved again. 

And m*leskine, I've just about had it with you and your silly new copyright laws. I don't have time to get expressed permission every time I want to make a vlog. Sorry for promoting your product!

ANYWAY, searching for a m*leskine alternative is an uphill battle and an oxymoron; despite my frusteration with the new copyright laws and the use of carcinogens in the covers and the switch of manufacturing to China and blahblahblah, there's an organic-tactility and understated effect of m*leskine notebooks that I don't expect will ever be matched. No matter how many attempts a product makes, with all the rounded corners-ribbon bookmark-elastic bland enclosure-back pocket yadayada, it's just not the same.

So, I decided, the ideal m*leskine alternative will not really be an alternative, but something which stands on its own and is still versatile enough to be considered a baseline notebook for all of my journaling needs. I found that this was met by the line of ecosystem notebooks:

I have scoffed at their marketing approach in the past; I am no environmentalist, and generally not fond of the earthy, archaic look of most recycled journals, but these ecosystem animals look and act like toys. They're completely recycled and made in the USA, and priced well at that. All pages are preforated, which typically makes me cringe because I'm so archival, but these preforations only act when you need them. I'm still on my first model, a lined hardcover because no one makes a true soft cover like m*leskine, but so far I truly love it. So go out and pick up one of these eco-friendly beauties. 

Anyway I just moved and my lungs are still recovering from dust so I'll go now. You'll hear from me soon!

and then...limp

It wasn't like that, he said, I was very tired and help-less. As in without help. I was limp the whole time.

Limp, really?

Yeah. 

--close character interview--

I have to say first that I have been getting an astonishing amount of positive feedback between my contact form and my youtube channel of late. Seems like yall loved my little film. Thank you so much for contacting me; I'll need a secretary any day now with all the emails I've been getting. 

I promise I read them all and I promise I will get back to a lot of you SOON. I am in one of those finals-weeks and I'm moving AGAIN. =.=

Being young. pah. You can't say anything moral without having everyone argue with you and there's no steady income and you've got to move all the time. I think being young is a little overrated. 

Anyway I've got allergies again and a virus again so I have to crash. Now. The last two years have been disastrous but things will turn on their head soon and you'll be hearing a lot more from me! Thanks again for all the incredible support. It still fascinates me that I can inspire people I've never met. 

Writing prompt: boy thinks that scorpions attack him every night. Go. 

and then...out

You'd cry if you saw him. You'd be sad-heavy. I think he was trying to say "I want out," but it's hard to know when his voice is so dry. He's so tired. I love him though.

I'm tired, too, especially with the allergy meds or allergies or both, and having to sit through films to study film. I can't just SIT for that long, you must be crazy. I love my beta muse, anyway. 

I have no groceries. I'm drowsy. I'm behind in every class with a week to go.

48 hours in a motel. wanna see a show called Bates Motel. Heard what it's like to get shot but forgot what it's like to be heard and what it's like to speak. (lovelovealan)

I'll be damned if I'll find myself enrolled in a public school of any kind ever again. It cost me a muse before, but everyone forgets him. As is current. Thanks for the fries.  

and then...cliff

I've been perceiving a shape like a dark cliff protruding. It's mostly perceived as synthesthetic response to a sound I keep hearing, a sudden quick rise of a base. It's the music I've been needing lately. 

So I've fallen serious behind in all aspects of life but that's only because the writing hasn't gone so well in almost a year. I am dishing out pages like pudding from a cup. :D 

Since I've getting near to the real career bit, let's talk about priorities:

I'm addressing everyone, but mainly young people because A) I am surrounded by them and B) I am one of them. So the harshness of my tone is reserved for myself and all others under 35.

First of all, stop whining about time. The great thing about time is that no one has more or less of it than anyone else! You decide what to do with your time, and you decide how much of your time you must dedicate to your survival (eating, sleeping etc). Some people have to give more time to that than others; some people need to work two jobs in order to eat and have shelter, for example. But every time you decide to use time, you are making judgement call about the importance of what you're doing.

Some, for instance, might wake up late once or twice and skip brushing their teeth so that they won't be late to class. If I wake up late, nothing about my schedule really changes because I consider my morning routine and morning writing to be more important than having an optimal reputation with a professor; but this also means that I decide to wake up much earlier than "necessary." 

If you have time to do one thing over another, you are valuing that activity more than any other alternative. If you say you have no time to write, and then use your lunch break to eat lunch, (with the understanding that you will have dinner), you are valuing eating three meals a day more than your goal to write every day. 

You might say that a lunch break is not enough time to write. That's legitimate; but when you give up something you once considered essential, something you once took for granted, you'll be surprised how quickly you learn to write something substantial in half an hour. 

Or why not just eat with one hand? I find oral stimulation helps the writing process, anyway. Just look at all the smokers. Or MINT suckers *ahem* such as yours truly. 

So I sure as hell miss throwing parties, I haven't really thrown one since early high school, yeah. But those hours are much better spent on self-reflection at my age, when I get the luxury to have it. So a REMINDER to those young people out there:

WHEN YOU'RE THIRTY AND UP, it's not CUTE anymore to change your mind about what you want to do and who you want to be. You get a very short window where people will actually SUPPORT any decision you make. Try to USE IT WISELY. Seriously. Don't realize you're a prodigy at 30, 35, 40. Realize it NOW. You'll get plenty of time later in life to try new hobbies and celebrate your life; I'm sure you're multi-talented yadayada. Youth is your chance to FOCUS. If you're lucky enough to get a decade or a few years where others will support you but you are still able to make your own decisions, that's golden. So don't get overwhelmed and crash. Just pick a thing you like; it's only one life. Calm down. Pick a thing you like and go do it, and someone will likely hire you by the time you have to support yourself entire, like. 

Thin aired mountains have oceans as fresh surface; I dreamt of flying.